Watch
by Narayu
Summary: Prompt for Kaidan Porn Week on Tumblr - I want to see f!shenko where they take advantage of the lovely view in Anderson's office without a care for who's walking around on the Presidum. I took this to an angsty post-Horizon place... sorry.


Things were bad. The Collectors were taking human colonies, and it looked like they were working for the Reapers. The attack on Horizon was all the proof they needed to begin planning to take them down. Shepard had found support in some old friends and had a new set of dossiers, it was time to prepare for what was to come. She knew it wasn't going to be easy, and as much as she hated to admit it - she was glad she had Cerberus at her back. She was given all the resources she needed and was building a great team. This was something she knew that neither the Council or the Alliance would have been able to do for her, if they'd even accepted the threat in the first place. No, Cerberus was the only tool with which to take down the Collectors, and once she had done that she could look back on her actions with judgement, but not before.

And then there was Kaidan. She had known he was going to be there on Horizon, the Illusive Man had warned her. Furthermore, it turned out that he had leaked some information in order to lure the Collectors there in the first place. Her reunion with Kaidan had not gone how she'd hoped, but he made his feelings clear and she had to move on. It was better that way, she didn't need any more distractions in the coming weeks and she didn't need him to lose her again if she didn't come back from her mission. She needed to put Kaidan Alenko behind her and focus on the task at hand.

First - she needed to see Anderson. He had known Kaidan would be on Horizon, and he had known she was investigating attacks, he should have told her _something_ or told Kaidan he'd seen her, so that way he wouldn't have been so angry with her. Or maybe it wouldn't have mattered. She had gone over what she planned to say to him in her head as she exited the Normandy, took the long elevator ride to the Presidium and walked toward the embassies. She was opening her mouth to speak the moment the doors to the human embassy slid open, and there stood Kaidan, already saying it all.

"Anderson, you stonewalled me! You knew she'd be there?" he was half yelling, no regard for rank in his anger. To the councilor's credit, he was letting Kaidan vent with all the patience in the world. Neither man had heard her enter and Kaidan kept going. "Why wouldn't you warn me? How the hell do you think I felt when I saw Commander fucking Shepard walking around Horizon, Shepard - who is dead!" he said, voice cracking at the last word, and Shepard could tell by his posture that he was exhausted, and she figured he hadn't slept since leaving Horizon. She hadn't either.

Anderson saw her then, and she suddenly felt embarrassed for being there, eavesdropping on this conversation for which she was the topic. Kaidan must have seen the councilor's expression change - softening ever so slightly at the sight of his protege - and he turned to look at what had caused it. When their eyes met, Shepard's heart sank. He was so angry, the fire in his eyes visible, and she didn't know if it was directed at Anderson or herself but her first instinct was to comfort him. She took a step forward before remembering herself and stopped in her tracks at a parade rest. Kaidan's shoulders slumped and he sighed heavily, dragging a hand through his hair and turning to face Anderson again, her chest tightened with the pain from the rejection she felt from such a simple movement.

Anderson looked back and forth between them for a moment, she knew he had to know about their past relationship. He'd never said anything, never thrown regs in their faces, just turned a blind eye. Now it was staring him in the face, Kaidan's anger and Shepard's clear disappointment. She knew his regulations were nothing to her now that she wasn't with the Alliance, but the last thing she wanted was for Kaidan to get into trouble. She had resolved herself to leave and come back later when Anderson finally broke the awkward silence.

"I am going to go speak with Udina about some Alliance business," he said - nodding to Shepard. "I think the two of you need some time to talk," he continued - this time to Kaidan. "I'll be back in an hour." With that, Anderson walked past Shepard, squeezing her shoulder, and walked out of the office.

She stared at Kaidan's back for a long time, willing him to turn and face her. Shepard didn't want to force this conversation, but he clearly wasn't going to make it easy on her. Finally, she walked up behind him and put her hand on his shoulder. He flinched and it took all of her resolve not to retreat right then, but she held her ground.

_Stubborn bastard_, she thought when he still didn't turn. She had things to say to him, though, and if he wasn't going to look at her maybe that would make them easier.

"You were right." she said simply and she thought she could hear his breath catch when she spoke, but she didn't let it distract her. "I should have tried to contact you when I woke up, I just -" she faltered, what did she want to say here._ 'I just didn't want to burden you with my mission_?' While true enough, it was a weak excuse. '_I just knew you wouldn't approve of me working with Cerberus_?' Also true, but she had thought he'd understand under the circumstances. She had thought wrong. The real truth then.

"I just, figured you had moved on." she said finally, marvelling at how _sad_ her voice sounded. "I wanted you to have a normal life." she said without realizing it was coming out of her mouth, and then the thought wouldn't stop. "You mourned me, you were moving on, you'd been promoted, I wanted all of the things for you that you could have with anyone but me - a life, a family, a _future_." she was breathless as the words flowed from her mouth, words she had thought a million times - even before her death. "I love you, but I knew you were better off without me." she finished the thought out loud. He _was_ better off without her. It had always been true. When she woke in the Cerberus facility and found out she'd been dead for two years, she figured it was his chance to live his life without the risk of everything crashing down on him like it always did when Commander Shepard was involved.

Kaidan whirled around a moment after the words left her lips and she flinched when she saw the look in his eyes. She didn't think she'd ever seen him so angry, and she removed her hand from his shoulder but forced herself not to take a step back from the sight. His hands were balled into fists at his sides and she could feel the vibration of carefully controlled biotic energy trying desperately to break free.

"That wasn't your decision to make." he growled through gritted teeth. "Who are you to decide what's best for me? I followed you to hell and back, and I would have done it a million more times to be by your side." he was breathing heavily, she knew the biotics were taking a toll and she just wished she could calm him down. And then she had an idea.

She took a half step toward him, and he didn't step back or flinch this time when she touched him. She let her own biotics flow soothingly over his skin when she laid her hand over one of his, remembering how their energies mingled perfectly, knowing exactly how to manipulate her field for this situation. She'd done this for him a hundred times in the wake of a bad migraine, it was something that they had figured out together, something just for them - it was _theirs_. His eyes widened for a moment, and he opened his mouth to speak some protest before closing it again in a frown. Not one brought on by anger like before, but one of confusion. He looked at their hands, then back up at her face before he lifted his other hand to touch her cheek hesitantly.

"It's really you." he breathed, and she could feel the heat from his breath on her face and the heat from his proximity beginning to coil in her belly. She sighed - a little in relief and a little from impatience.

"Of course it's me, Kaidan. They brought me back, I'm not a robot." she pleaded with her eyes and her words and he stared at her for a long moment before he tested his energy against hers.

It was a dance she knew, but she didn't counter his steps - not this time - just let him get his own proof. Kaidan let the nodes in his hand activate and he slid it from where it had been resting against her cheek down along the side of her neck to the dip in her shoulder and across her collarbone. Shepard's eyes closed involuntarily but she allowed herself to lean into the sensation on her skin as he moved the hand across her back and to the base of her neck where her amp jack was, and he lightly brushed the skin between it and her implant scar, causing Shepard to shudder. Kaidan gasped and she opened her eyes to look at him once again.

There was something new there, relief or understanding or something she couldn't name, but she didn't have time to question it. He grasped the hand she had been using to calm him in his own and pulled her against him, hand still at her neck, crushing his mouth to hers in one swift motion and she was home. His lips and teeth and tongue were familiar against her own, but the fervor was new. She opened her lips to deepen the kiss, tasting his mouth with her tongue, biting his bottom lip and when she snaked her free hand around his neck and into his hair she nearly melted when he moaned into her mouth.

He turned them so that her back was against the railing overlooking the Presidium. Both of his hands moved up to cup her face and he pulled back mere inches to look into her eyes. The anger was mostly gone, and what she saw - or more accurately felt - in that moment was two years of relief pouring from him into her. She couldn't begin to imagine what he had been through in her "death" and the time that followed, and she couldn't hope to ask him. Shepard tried to convey a million apologies in her eyes as she gazed back into his and she thought it worked when he leaned down to touch his forehead to hers.

"I thought I'd lost you forever." he whispered, eyes closed now. She nodded so he could feel her response, and reached her hand up to touch his cheek.

"I know, I - there's nothing I can say, I'm sorry." she breathed, hoping it was enough.

His lips turned up into a smirk and she wondered for a moment if she'd missed some joke. He opened his eyes and slowly turned her around to look out at the people and shops below.

"Remember the first time we visited the Citadel?" he asked, laughter in his voice. "We were marvelling over the size and I - uh - ended up inadvertently flirting with you?"

She found herself laughing then at the memory. Shepard, Kaidan, and Ash had come to speak to the Council. His face had turned so red when Ash had called him out on his flirting and she had found the blush in his cheeks adorable. She looked out at the sight in front of her now, still amazed at the scale and she was about to say as much when she felt his lips against her neck, sending a million volts of electricity through her body.

She leaned her head back against his shoulder, a wordless offer of permission for him to continue, and he trailed kisses down her neck to her shoulder, pausing to bite the spot he knew drove her wild. A quiet moan escaped her lips and he wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her into him. He was hard and part of her couldn't believe this was happening. After their argument on Horizon, she never would have dreamed he'd let her close again. He ground into her, pushing her hips into the railing and she had to steady herself with one hand.

"Hmmm..." he hummed against her earlobe, sending heat spiraling down her back and up her legs to pool in her belly, and between her thighs.

"Hmmm?" she asked in response, but the sound croaked out from her throat and he chuckled, a throaty sound that always went right to her head.

"Just thinking, of all the people down there, and how badly I want to fuck you right now." he whispered, breath hot against the back of her neck, and she shuddered again.

"Ah - um - well." she stammered, wondering momentarily where her brain had disappeared to.

He laughed again, sliding his hand down between her legs and massaging her through her fatigues. Shepard whimpered.

"It's okay, I think they can watch if they want..." he trailed off as his other hand slid between them to grasp her ass, lifting it against him as he bucked his hips against her. She hissed between her teeth when he bit the other shoulder.

Part of her - the logical part - thought they needed to stop this before they really did get caught. The other part of her - which was much louder now that Kaidan was sliding his hand under the waistband of her pants and stroking her clit through her underwear - didn't give a fuck.

"God, Shepard." he groaned into her ear. "You're so wet." She moaned as he moved his fingers with the slightest pressure - teasing her on purpose - and she could feel his heart racing against her back. He moved the hand from her ass to thumb a nipple through her shirt and her breath caught in her throat as her hips bucked into his hand of their own accord. He was breathing against her shoulder, every breath causing a new ripple of goosebumps over her skin.

He slid her pants down and let them fall to the floor, and she felt when he released himself from his own. He was hard against her again a moment later and with just the thin cotton of her underwear separating them, she bucked her hips back against him. He groaned again and balled his fist in her hair, not painfully, but just enough to hold her head still against his ear.

"Tell me." he managed - the desire more than evident in his voice, and a shiver rolled down her spine.

"Kaidan, I -" she started but then gasped when his finger pulled her panties aside just slightly so he could run it along her slit. She tried to arch into the touch but he pulled his hand back, eliciting a whine from her that she didn't know she was capable of.

"Tell me." he said again, his voice thick and full of want, and she was gasping for breath when she tried to say the words again.

"Kaidan, I -" she stuttered, and this time she couldn't even remember the words when he slid a finger inside of her.

"Shepard," he warned when she bucked her hips into his hand, moaning. There was something he wanted her to say and she was fucking it up. His thumb circled her clit once and all the nerves gathered there coiled tightly.

"Kaidan, I want you to fuck me." she choked the words out between gasps with all the effort she had and he slid her underwear down and let them fall to gather with her pants. Moments later his cock was sliding against her opening and she could barely stand the anticipation. His thumb resumed its ministrations against her nub and when he slid inside her she cried out in relief.

"Fuck, Shepard - " he breathed in her ear as he pulled almost completely out before thrusting back into her as deep as he could manage, "you feel so good." And the words just added to everything that she was feeling. She loved it when he talked to her like this, when he had control. During missions, she had been his Commander, and he was her Lieutenant. But in the bedroom - or in this case... Anderson's office - he took control and he knew it drove her wild. This was no exception. He pulled out completely, and she whimpered again, he slid along her slit, and against her clit before slamming into her again. The hand that wasn't teasing her nub was splayed against her ass and hip, lifting with each retreat and squeezing with each thrust.

"Keep your eyes open," he gasped as he buried himself inside her again. "I want you to watch all the people down there that could catch us at any moment." The thought thrilled her in a way she had never thought of before. She focused on the people below them as he fucked her against the railing in the councilor's office. Every movement drove her closer to the edge and her knuckles were white from gripping the railing. Shepard's whole body shuddered as Kaidan pulled out one more time and then thrust into her - hard - while applying even more pressure to the bundle of nerves between her legs. She gasped and bit her lip to stop from crying out loudly. Every nerve in her body was coiled so tightly and ready to release.

He must have felt her body tensing, because just before she thought she was going lose her mind, Kaidan's biotics flared, sending dark energy in ripples over their bodies, teasing every inch of her skin and sending a tiny jolt directly to her center.

Shepard came hard around Kaidan, moaning his name without regard for who would hear. And just as Kaidan's breathing became halted and he barely choked out her name - he poured himself into her and his biotics fizzled, leaving tiny shockwaves to wrack their bodies as they slumped against the railing.

"I'm sorry." they both said in unison minutes later once they had caught their breath and Shepard trusted her legs to hold her if she pushed off from the railing. They both laughed easily now, the anger forgotten for the time being, happily sated for the first time in years.

It wouldn't last, they both knew that in the back of their minds. Alliance soldier and Cerberus tool. But at that moment there was nothing but two soldiers who had once been partners, sharing in that memory together and letting the rest of it fall away.


End file.
